random

i finally watched the finale of Greys Anatomy season 5 this afternoon and i must admit that i was pretty affected by it. call me emo, but it really made me realise that everything around me is only temporary. and that includes my own life, for i may wake up with a cancer tomorrow or i may even get hit by a bus on my way to cold storage later. well, if that really happens i'm not really sure whether i would regret all the decisions i've made for myself. probably i will.

i've learnt over the past 2 years that things are not always in black and white. and i wonder how did i grow up thinking that they were. could it be the type of education i was exposed to that shapes my personality, maybe. but it is also a battle of nature against nuture, an old rivalry that would never end. somehow i feel that i'm in the grey zone at this moment, not knowing whether i would ever get out of it. am i happy, sometimes. am i not, sometimes. is the grey zone a good thing, maybe. is it bad, maybe.

everything seems to be floating now, do i want it to stop, i dont know.