A date to remember. A date to note. The date when we made our decision, a decision that will change us as human beings, as a married couple and as future parents. The date when we chose to let go and not fight against the tide.

How do you feel? I asked my husband.

What is inside your head? I asked him again.

He replied,’ Nothing. I have nothing in my head’

The truth is, I have nothing in my head as well. Or I rather not. Once I open the door and start thinking and feeling, I know there will be no end to it.

Am I giving up too early? Am I not giving life a chance to fight for its own? Am I cursed beyond eternal life for making this decision? Only God knows. 

This has taught me that nothing is permanent in our lives. We live in the state of transience where we can lose anything and everything in a blink of an eye. What is given to you may not be yours to keep.

Am I afraid? Yes

Tomorrow is the day. Do I know what to expect? Not really.

Will I feel pain? Will I feel remorseful? I guess I can only answer those tomorrow. Not today. Today is for me to know that tomorrow will be the day I lose a part of me, a part of my husband, a part of us.