My earliest memory of the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Was the man who cried.

I came to singapore to pursue my studies when I was 15 as part of a programme. I remember very vividly how the entire group was ushered into a theatre-like room with a screen playing a black and white documentary. Being so unfamiliar and foreign in this new country, I had no idea who the crying man was. I remember the scene when he expressed his disappointment and despair as Malaysia so foolishly kicked Singapore out. Back then I thought to myself, 'Is this guy for real?'

As I got to know Singapore better, I learnt about all the rules in this so-called sterile environment. I learnt about the criticism that the late Mr Lee was a control freak who controlled his people like machines. I read articles written by famous artistic professionals on how the repetitive public housing has marred the streetscape of Singapore. I heard expats expressing their dissatisfaction on how uptight the country was. My impression of him did not get any better.

Now that he had passed on, I begin to understand what he had done for the country, how much lives he had touched and how courageous he had been as a ruler. People from all walks of life suddenly regard him with utmost respect and praise him for his contributions. And I wonder, why only now? Why do I only hear all the positive remarks about this great man after his passing? Why do Singaporeans keep complaining about him and his rules when he was still alive?

It saddens me that some of you did not appreciate the kind of ruler you had until it was too late. Maybe you should try living with our ruler for a year or two to truly understand how lucky you were. But it also touches me to see how most of you are so affected by his death that you make the effort to queue and wait for 8 hours in the hot sun to pay him your last tribute and respect. And the genuine tears I see streaming down the cheeks of old men and women waiting to pay their tributes made my eyes filled with tears. An old man said to the reporter,'the perspiration on my forehead as i wait in the queue is nothing compared to what he had done for us'.

I hope his passing teaches us a great lesson to appreciate the things we have, the people around us and the safe environment we have been living in. I hope it will make us hesitate and think the next time we have the urge to complain. This is the first time I am witnessing Singapore mourn and weep as a nation, a soft side I have never seen before. It is only appropriate as she has lost her founding father. But I do hope she will continue to place trust in her current and future rulers.